I am totally disheartened

Today is a blue day.
The girls were up at 6:30am and usually go right back to sleep however today Bella was up and ready to start her new day. Which in itself isn't bad. Then I made breakfast went over spelling words with Alex since his test is today and they were off to school. I went back into the kitchen to see my dog Twink eating the breakfast casserole right off the oven. It is gone. She has a big appetite.
Then our social worker called us. I am so saddened. That is an understatement. For those who don't know. I have adopted my son Jordan and he is now offically mine. This has brought our family closer and Jordan and I now have something no one can take away no matter how hard they try. I love him like he grew in my own body from my own soul. And in a way he acts more like me then any of my other kids. =) His Bio Mom had to make the single most difficult desicion of her life. To let her son go. Yes it was to us who have loved him and taken care of him for his whole life but still. That is THE hardest thing she will ever had to do. And I commend her for that. For thinking of Jordan and not herself. For doing what is BEST for Jordan.
Andrew is now adopting Alex. I went to college and got a baby no degree. LOL. Alex's father has been flaky at most. He never wanted me to have the baby and offered to pay for my abortion. Though I am pro choice for me there is no choice. I Had to have him. I loved him the minute I found out I was pregnant. I "knew" I was pregnant from the moment of conception. He is my little man. My heart and soul and my little "brown berry" I had Alex here in Ohio with no contact from his bio dad until he was around 3 months and no support until the courts in Medina made him pay around 6 years later. He hasn't been in Alex's life and had moved clear across the country. And of course now that Andrew, the ONLY dad Alex has ever known wants to adopt Alex. To make things official. To give him his name. NOW Bio Dad decides to fight. So we are going to court. Paying for lawyers, and court reporters, for social workers, and everything else all because a selfish 30 something year old man is only thinking of himself and not what is BEST for Alex.
I am so discusted at this point with the way Bio man has carried himself. He is a selfish person. I am not saying that signing your rights away to your child is not hard. Like I said before it is probably the hardest thing a parent has to do. But if you know your child is going to a better family. To someone who loves him and has a postive relationship and can be there for him all the time and you know you can't be living clear ACROSS the frickin COUNRTY! And you haven't in the past. I mean really wouldn't you realize that the best thing is to say good bye. Knowing that we would if you wanted send you up dates like pictures and such. Hello I keep a blog. =) You can see him and know about him all the time. As much as I write. And I try to write alot. It just makes me SO mad and angry, and sad. I am just not having a good day. I need a hug. =)